Owen on love; oh, this is bound to be good.

To make sure this post doesn't find it's way through the grapevine and to the wrong reader (there is, as such, only one really) I will be general. I'm not single anymore, and I am in love with the person I am with. This isn't the first time she and I are dating and I assume that by now you know who it is.
We can't be public about our relationship (public= changing our status on facebook) for a while to avoid any scrutiny for her and I, and I accept that heartedly. Besides, think of it this way, before facebook, you would have to actually ask me if I'm dating someone, and if you did I would tell you yes, unless you are the one person who is not supposed to know.
Person who is not supposed to know, you aren't supposed to know because I don't have what everyone around you is after. You have fallen into that trap and you should realize that you are aiming in the wrong direction. The object of being in a relationship is for both people to be happy, the object of them being together in the first place is because they make each other happy. You apparently don't see that. I wish you could.
I love this girl. I seriously do. But, as with Romeo and Juliet, the tree of forbidden love bears the sweetest fruit. We are already looking ahead, moving away from here and what we are going to do with our lives. We are even looking at the mundane daily tasks (romantic things like playing rock-paper-scissors over who will pay that month's car insurance and what the person who doesn't will do with the money they aren't spending on car insurance)
I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in the STRANGEST feeling in the fucking world overcoming you when you first meet them. It felt like someday she was going to kill me and then she became my friend. Then as time wore on I realized she wasn't going to kill me, but do the opposite. She was enlivening me, making me feel ways I had never felt before. I fought everything I felt and kept myself from dating her because I was afraid, I was terrified and then one night over facebook chat I told her.
I remember her response.
"Goddamn it Owen, why didn't you tell me sooner?!"
Once I realized that the feeling was mutual, the floodgates opened. I had to spend that part of our relationship explaining that I always loved her, because I did.
Being with someone like that, They end up being your translator, feelings you felt on this certain day that couldn't be described suddenly have not only description, but meaning. You find yourself slapping yourself on the forehead because then you have to transmit this wonderful feeling into words...and then you fall short.
Love is so quickly thrown around, the word, and in some cases, the physical act of.
I am so pissed at myself, because I am telling her I love her the same way I have ever told a girl I loved that I loved them. I hate myself that I fell victim to using love outside of it's context.
I have to find a way to tell her that not only is this feeling different, but in a good (good?! in a fucking fantastically good) way.
The love I feel for her is so far beyond the love I've felt for anyone before that I'm totally unsure of what I should do. She has the most level head of the two of us, so I'll listen to her. :D

Lyubov' Moya, you know who you are,
I love you.