Chopping Block Ep. 7 ---- Driving, and My Observations.

On the Chopping Block?
Driving, and what I see when I do.

First issue.
Women.
Not to be a chauvinist, but I hate to say that a decent 90% of women are not very responsible drivers. I see it all the time on route two. I will be going 70 mph (which is 5 mph over the limit, thank you) and suddenly a pair of headlights will loom up in my rearview. It's not a cop, it's not Mad Max in his V-8 interceptor....it's....
a woman in her mid 30's, driving her minivan at almost 85 mph WHILE TALKING ON HER CELLPHONE. Surely a recipe for disaster. I think, oh, well, the cops will take care of her eventually. Nope, I'm the one getting pulled over. And I never get a ticket either.

And it's not always that either. I see a lot of older women blazing by in Mercedes as well, and I tip my hat to them. I mean, if they get in an accident, they will most likely die anyways. But, since nobody owns a mercedes around here (other than Mr. Mekeel and all the guys in that suburb tucked in next to the mennonite church.)
So, quite typically, it's either a minivan, or a post high school girl in her cavalier. I have only been passed by a guy twice. What does it tell me?

If you want to get there on time, leave earlier.
if your kids are loud, there is always duct tape.
If there's someone you really need to talk to, set up a date.

Now slow in the hell down before you kill someone, someone like me because you may be too busy swatting your kids with a flyswatter (while talking to your fiancee on your cellphone as you do 85 mph down a highway) to notice the red light.


NEXT
SUBJECT.

Loud engines.
I get it, your truck is insanely loud (nothing against the Coopers though, that's an awesome truck.)
This does not mean you can pull up to me in your junky rusted-out 1979 F-150 and tap on the gas, startling me. Is it a challenge? A compliment? Does the back of my head look that good as I change cd's? No?
THEN SAVE YOUR GAS AND DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!
I got an Oldsmobile now, with a serious engine under the bonnet. So I give it a little more juice when I get going from the stoplight, I claim it, I'm guilty.
But seriously, you kids with your clunky V-8 powered Fords and et cetera should reconsider your position on the food chain. I know people who drive a normal car...that has some serious (400+ horses in some cases) power. One day, you are going to be revving your small block stock nothing and all of a sudden you are going to get ballsy to this guy in a mazda 3 and poof he's gone when the light turns green. They are called sleepers for those not in the automotive know.

My point is, no matter how pretty or fast as your car/truck may be, there is always someone with a car faster and better looking than yours. So relax and stop trying to show off to every blonde you see. All you are doing is shouting your name to every cop in town.

I only wish I could iterate on it a little more, but I'm a little distracted at the moment.
So that's it!